how i remember them #

the more i know my friends,
the more i like them.
and the more i like them,
the more i forget about them.

not the moments we shared,
not the way they moved, or spoke,
or how they laughed.
but the details— the shape of their hands,
the curve of their smiles,
they blur.

they blur, and soon all that remains is warmth,
a soft, familiar glow that feels like home.
but faces?
those don’t come so easily—
i have to reach, stretch,
as if trying to hold onto a memory already fading away.

but when i stumble across a picture,
it pulls me back.
suddenly, that day,
that exact moment,
their voice, their expression,
it all floods in, clear as it once was.
it’s all there,
waiting to break through the haze.

but their traits? their favorite things?
they fade.
until it all crashes back,
in an overwhelming rush of what once was.

maybe it’s easier this way—
to not remember the exactness of them,
to just hold on to the glow.
the feeling of home, even as it slips further away.

but every time i remember that i’m forgetting,
it breaks me,
just a little bit more.