future #

so there i stood
after all these years
the laughter fading to echoes,
the arguments to whispers

i look around,
but the silence answers back
of course no one’s here
they’re lost in their own worlds
how long before they notice?
how long before they care?
but it doesn’t matter,
nothing does
does it?

this was meant to hurt
but all i feel is numbness
a hollow where pain should be

i’m on the train tracks
on the edge of an abandoned bridge
behind the wheel of my car
submerged in the stillness of a bath
standing in the shadows of my kitchen

i hear the train’s approach
feel the dizzying height
see the speed through the windshield
the cold water creeping higher
the smell of gasoline heavy in the air

i step forward
i let go
i press down
i sink deeper
i turn off the light

i’m crushed
i fall
i crash
i drown
i burn

and still,
i don’t feel a thing…